As we were heading Home from Thanksgiving weekend, my phone beeped, it was a text from Dad. “Huh.” I said. “What’s up?” Annie asked. “Dad texted me, he wants me to give him a call when it’s convenient. I’ll give him a call after we’re home, unpacked and settled.” “What do you think he wants?” “Winter Is Coming.” “Ha Ha.” Game of Thrones reference aside, for northerners this is a real thing. When the first taste of the cold season…
I sometimes wonder what my thoughts would have been if pre-parent me were to be given a glimpse of modern me. What would he be thinking? He, (pre-parent me) would witness me (modern me) taking out the trash: “What’s with the long tubular blue-tinted trash bag?” He thought. I stopped and looked at him with a wry smile, “This is poop!” “Did you just read my mind?” “I didn’t need to. You are me. I just know what you’re thinking.”…
Minivan Conversations Vol I Lydia had goats on her mind, “Did you know that goats make milk?” Annie replied, “Yes I did know that.” “We could own a goat, and we won’t have to buy milk again. We could also make cheese with the milk.” “I know that too. Good idea!” “And the goat could eat the grass so that you won’t have to mow grass.” I spoke to Annie, “I’ve said it a few times, I’ll say it again,…
incident-report It was nearly 2:30 in the morning. I was in a deep sleep (well a “parental” deep sleep, not very deep). The baby monitor was making a sound—it was Regina. “Ugh.” I thought, “Is Reg trying to wake everyone because she’s awake?” No. She sounded upset. “Another nightmare” I thought, “She’s been having bad dreams ever since we watched that Harry Potter movie. Better go reset her.” With a groan I began rolling out of bed. She cried again….
In case anyone hasn’t heard, Bob Ross’s show, Beauty is Everywhere, is now on Netflix. I have some wonderful memories of his programs. They were so deceptive. Seriously, think about it—It’s a guy, painting. But then you start watching, and watching some more. Suddenly your coffee mug is empty, it needs to get refilled, but you can’t get up to refill it. Why? Because you HAVE to see how he makes the clouds look so freaking fluffy! Suddenly an hour…
“Daddy, these pictures look creepy.” “Regina made those pictures, those are pictures of us.” “Wow. I am way better at drawing than she is! There aren’t any arms or legs. What’s what here?” “Those are the eyes and that’s the mouth. Don’t be too quick to criticize Hun. Your pictures were nearly identical to these when you were her age.” “Sorry.” The next day… “Time Out Regina. Now.” I said. “Waaaaaah! I cry Daddy! Look. I cry!” “No need to…
Another year has passed; it’s our seventh year as parents. As I write this I keep looking at her past my laptop screen. She’s still happily playing with her doll house with a nature documentary playing in the background (her choice, the apple doesn’t fall far). Once upon a time, a toddler version of this little girl didn’t want much more than to lay down on my chest and have me read The Grouchy Ladybug for the thirtieth time. I…