I was parked in the pickup line, the van was turned off, Reggie and I were waiting for Lyd and the barbarian charge of children to come flooding out of the school. This has become a valued part of my day. Reg brings a couple toys along, she’s occupied. There’s no dirty laundry in the van, no dirty dishes, and I am not staring at my computer screen with my fingers hovering over the keyboard. I get to break out…
It was a devastating day. We rode home together in practical silence. We had arrived Home and managed to maintain our composure for the babysitter. Lydia was watching some kids program in the living room. After the sitter left, Annie began trying to cook supper. I was leaning against the kitchen counter, arms folded. Then the dam burst. One of us said something, who it was, what was said doesn’t matter. All I remember next was that my arms were…
“Hey Sweetie! Did you have a good nap?” “Yeah. I pooped.” “Oh. That’s too bad. I’ll change your diaper. Next time, try to let me know so I can get you to the potty. Okay?” “Okay.” She suddenly became exasperated, “I just don’t know why I always poop.” “Food.” “Food?” “Yes. Poop used to be food. You eat food and your body turns it into poop that comes out the other end.” “You mean my butthole.” “Yes.” (sighing heavily) “Your…
“His destructive programming is taking effect. He will be irresistibly drawn to large cities, where he will backup sewers, reverse street signs and steal everyone’s left shoe.” -Dr. Jumba, from the Disney movie Lilo & Stitch For those of you who have never watched the movie Lilo & Stitch, it is a movie about an alien, or rather a creature, created in the laboratory of mad scientist Dr. Jumba. Stitch was designed to cause chaos and destruction. That’s all you…