Anyone who lives in Wisconsin knows all about winter clothing, specifically, how easily paired-items such as gloves and mittens can be broken up and the frustrations that follow.
When it comes to children, multiply those factors by ten. My youngest daughter is a defiant creature. Madness and mayhem are things that she not only embraces but she is a force multiplier as well. There are times where her logic is boggling, even after you take into consideration that she is three years old. Her idea of “placing” things is closer to misplacing them.
That is what I had in mind when I purchased mittens and gloves for her. I saw a three-pack of mittens for one dollar, I immediately threw them into the cart, I then noticed gloves for a quarter more. Knowing that if I only bought mittens, she would want gloves, and vice versa. So I covered my butt and grabbed the gloves as well.
“Three pairs of each.” I thought. My inner actuary concluded that it was, at the very least, highly improbable that I would not be able to match at least one pair of something.
In hindsight, I now realize how terribly flawed my numbers were. I forgot the most important factor, my daughter—Chaos and Inconvenience’s bastard daughter.
It took her only a week. And this what I have been able to scrape together.

The matches could be anywhere. They could be flushed down a toilet, stashed in her pillowcase, maybe stashed in my pillowcase! The match could be in the middle of a school parking lot, for all I know I could be sitting on one of the matches as I’m writing this.
Regina likes things in a line, she likes symmetry, so much so that I have been thinking I might be close to being dialed in on her.
Back to the drawing board! She likes wearing a glove on one hand and a mitten on the other and she likes wearing different colors on each hand.
She changed her methods, she changed her strategy…still my funny little enigma.
Oh well, she’s okay with it, I guess I’m okay with it too.

Before I go, if anyone sees a match for any of these, please contact me at paterfamiliasdomesticus@gmail.com
Thank You!