It was strawberry season, Annie brought eighty pounds of strawberries home and we waited. Friends showed up, then more friends, then family appeared. Together we sat around an outdoor table and hulled all of those strawberries so that Annie could turn them all into a variety of different gourmet jams.
We celebrated our accomplishments afterward with slow cooked pork sandwiches and cocktails. I slipped away during a lull in the conversation to look out at the empty lot next to our Home. My girls and three other kids from two other families in our group were running and rolling all over the grass attempting to capture fireflies as the sun was setting. I chuckled as I recalled one of them asking Annie, (the jam maker) if she had any jars.
“I might have a couple of them sitting around!”
The view was almost too good to be true. Thick ribbons of purple and pink were streaking the sky as the sun set over the edge of the tiny little valley that our small town is nestled in. In the foreground were five kids all using different tactics for catching a firefly. One was simply running in circles and flailing her arms, other (more thoughtful) strategies varied from chase and pounce to stealth, patience and stalking. As if that strategy could be maintained. Every time he thought he was close, another kid would jump on him.
“They will sleep well tonight.” I thought as I turned back around to check out the gathering Annie and I inadvertently put together. Friends intermingling with family, laughter, chuckles, and the general din of a group of people who are all content.
“And this…” I thought, “This…is me being given a glimpse of what my version of heaven would look like.” I took a deep breath and soaked in every sound, sight and scent I could.
The school year ended a week earlier, “It’s going to be a good summer.” I thought as I had another sip of my beer.

“Daddy? Can I go swimming?”
“Sure thing Hun.”
“Can I try tubing Daddy?”
“Ask your uncle if he’s willing to make one more run on the boat, otherwise…No problem!”
“Can we go fishing sometime?”
“Only if you bring Home dinner!”
“Can we go to the zoo that has the snowy owl?”
“Oddly enough, we’re going there this weekend!”
“Can we do the Tilt-A-Whirl?”
“Sure.” I burped, regretting that last funnel cake
“Where are we going?”
“To a friend’s house for a visit”
“Will my friends be there?”
“Yup!”
“That’s great! We’re going to write songs together! We’ll put on a show!”
“Guess what Lyd?”
“What?”
“We’re going camping this weekend!”
“Really? Yay!!!”

My girls of summer had a pretty glorious season. They ran jumped and climbed. They frolicked and swam. They carried with them the scent of pool chlorine, freshwater lake and sunscreen. On more than one occasion, as I carried a still sleeping Lyd from the van up to her bed, I could smell pine needles and tree bark in her hair. Both girls needed replacement flip flops within the first month. When Lydia caught her first fish, she squealed in delight, while Regina squealed in horror.
Their knees were dirty and nearly always had the hint of a scab. They were wet, and filthy and sticky with ice cream; just like a child of summer should be.

That wasn’t all that happened. Regina contracted Lyme disease. Two weeks later, we discovered Annie also contracted Lyme disease. I lost my job a month after that strawberry gathering, shortly after that drastic change with our income, a couple of unexpected expenses hit us. A couple weeks later another major expense popped up when the ball joint of Annie’s truck snapped. We were facing an awful lot of money stress, Regina’s health issues, and Annie’s much more drastic health issues
It was looking like it wasn’t such a good summer after all.
Despite all of this, Annie and I focused on not letting it get to us. We had to have a positive attitude. It takes work, but it’s worth it. Sometimes a positive attitude is all that will see you through some of the darker moments. We do the best we can with what we have, and we were handling this no differently than any other stressful time. Except there was something different this time, while we’ve always known we weren’t alone through these sorts of trials, it still helps to get reminders. So many people sent their best wishes, prayers, and help, a complete stranger offered to give us a lift Home as we were staring at the broken down truck. It all became a conglomerate of Love and generosity. We will be eternally grateful and cannot wait until we have an opportunity to pay it all forward.

This job I had taken, included chapters of duties that I was not made aware of at the time of hiring, and the company had a few less-than-honorable moments that made them unworthy of my trust. During my final weeks with them, I was actually expecting to be let go.
The job had turned me into a monster. I was stressed and I was losing my temper several times a day. The girls were nervous around me, I was pushing Annie away, I was starting to push everyone away. All of it, the stress, the monster that was encouraged by the stress, disappeared less than a day after I was let go. I remembered! I remembered what really matters, and I had returned more dedicated than ever.
My renewed self could not have arrived at a better time. Lyme disease hobbled my fiercely independent wife. She needed, still needs, my help and my patience. She needed something that I would have given poorly when I was still stressed and angry. That something was empathy. I was able to deliver.
Our marriage became stronger, we became closer. A reinvigorated affection has come about us. There is something between us that feels a little childlike and romantic these days. I Love her more than ever. I never thought that could be possible.
The wrapping paper might have been ugly, but the gift has been awe-inspiring.
I look back at the summers of my childhood and I recall fun and carefree days and I wonder about all the stress of adult life my parents carried on their shoulders, all the stress they hid from me and my brother and sister.
I am hoping we created a fun and carefree summer for my daughters. They played to the point of exhaustion so many times. Who knows? Maybe as adults they will have a revelation similar to the ones I have these days. Maybe they’ll realize why Dad would shoot a quick worried look at Mom. Maybe they will realize there was something else happening behind that smile. Like me, hopefully they will be thanking their parents for fun summer vacations and happy memories.
The first day of school was five days ago. The end of summer has finally hit. Lyd’s dirty knees, and S’more-streaked face have been wiped, her disheveled hair combed. She traded in her flip-flops for a pair of Mary Janes. What else? Oh yeah! A dress! Yes, we put her in a dress as well.
Annie packed a lunch for her, as usual she left a loving message on a post it with her sandwich. We took a first-day-of-school picture and she was good to go.
Wishing her a farewell was less of an experience than in the past. She was a little less interested in our company. The minute she saw her friends, she was off and we faded into the background. I smiled at Annie, she’s growing older, she’s growing friends.
It turns out, I was right. It was a good summer, possibly one of the best summers in my adult life.