In case anyone hasn’t heard, Bob Ross’s show, Beauty is Everywhere, is now on Netflix. I have some wonderful memories of his programs. They were so deceptive. Seriously, think about it—It’s a guy, painting. But then you start watching, and watching some more. Suddenly your coffee mug is empty, it needs to get refilled, but you can’t get up to refill it. Why? Because you HAVE to see how he makes the clouds look so freaking fluffy! Suddenly an hour goes by and you’re running late, but you’re not worried. You’re fine. Bob Ross’s voice is keeping your blood pressure down. It’s cool. So what? I’ll be a little late!
I need a Bob Ross app.
I was inspired to do some in-depth research on Bob Ross (Wikipedia). He was born in Florida. He enlisted in the United States Air Force at age eighteen. He rose to Master Sergeant and served as First Sergeant at the US Air Force Clinic at Eielson Air Force Base in Alaska. In Alaska he saw mountains and snow for the first time, they became a recurring theme in his paintings. His job required him to yell a lot, so much so that he decided if he ever left the military he would never yell again.
So that explains a lot for me!
While working in Alaska he discovered a show called The Joy of Oil Painting with German painter Bill Alexander. He studied under Bill Alexander and discovered he was making more money selling his paintings than working for the Air Force, so he retired. Eventually he landed his own show.
Oh yeah, the perm was an effort to save money by eliminating haircuts. The perm was uncomfortable for him, but it became his signature look.
My Bob Ross curiosity has been sated. I think it’s time I got back to my happy little story. It was Saturday morning. Annie and I had the lofty goal of sleeping in until 6:30am. That never happened. At 5:30am we heard Regina beginning to stir. By 5:45am she was not only fully awake, but she decided that she had to wake her sister up, Annie reset her, but it did no good, within minutes she was screaming louder than ever for Lyd.
Yep, we’re up now! Reggie was on a mission to make everyone’s mood as crappy as her mood. She threw it all at us, sobbing, tantrums, moaning, whining, a maddening unrelenting miserable droning sound that she had perfected days earlier. My mood was changing. She was winning.
Annie grabbed Reg, I made sure Lyd was still sleeping. With a non-caffeinated stagger we blearily realized the Kitchen table was covered with stuff, we didn’t feel like clearing it off for breakfast (don’t judge, you’ve done it too). We looked at each other and nodded, “Living Room it is.” As I began making coffee Annie stared at the channel guide, trying to find something to keep Reg entertained long enough for us to have some of that coffee. She was talking to me from the living room, “too many loud shows on this morning, do you have any thoughts on something more mellow to put on?”
That’s when I remembered that little article that popped up on my newsfeed, “Say…did you hear that Bob Ross’s painting show is on Netflix now?”
“Seriously? She’ll be bored to death.”
“So what? As if she can do anything about it. She’s strapped in her booster seat, she’s captive.”
“Okay…”
Five minutes later we peered around the corner from the kitchen. Regina was silent, her eyes were wide open, locked on the television screen. She was slowly making her way through the breakfast Annie threw together, watching Bob Ross with rapt attention.
Ten minutes later Lydia came stumbling down the steps into the Living Room. “What’s this?”
“Well Good morning to you too! And this guy is Bob Ross, he’s a painter, we used to watch his show when we were little.”
“We watch him make a painting?”
“Yes.”
“Can we watch a cartoon after this?”
“Not immediately after this, but we might put a cartoon on later.”
“Okay.” Lydia joined the three of us as we watched Bob paint a seaside cliff scene. Lyd suddenly had the same look on her face as Reggie. A few minutes passed and Lydia abruptly stood up and dragged her “art desk” into the middle of the Living Room. She even flipped the desk top up into easel mode and clipped on a piece of paper.
For the next thirty minutes Annie and I did not have a single kid to deal with. Neither of them moved from in front of the television. Lydia was trying with crayons to replicate the drawing, and Reggie, well, she was pretty much in a trance.
Bob Ross: Sergeant, Painter, Television Host, and now, a Babysitter.
Thank You for your service. Thank You for sharing your Love and talent. Thank You for allowing us to salvage some quiet time for ourselves on a Saturday morning.