Pater Familias Domesticus

The dishwasher was loaded, counters wiped off, I looked over my shoulder…no kids. I quietly popped a couple of Tostitos from my super-secret-just-for-me-not-for-kids stash into my mouth and went to check on the girls. They both looked at me suspiciously. Lyd spoke, “I smell Doritos.” (Doritos? She’s got her names mixed up. Should I correct her? No.) “Really?” I asked, my expression was saturated with innocence. “I really like Doritos” She replied. “Really?” I asked. “Yeah, they’re my favorite.” “Good…

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Lyd’s friend’s Mom dropped her off from summer school the other day. When they arrived, I grabbed Reg and stepped outside to greet them. Of course, Lyd’s friend had to walk Lyd up to the door….along with her little sister. They said hi to me then continued to walk past me and into the house. I shrugged and began shooting the breeze with the Mom. By now the little brother wanted a piece of this action, he unbuckled himself and…

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Our School District is kind enough to offer jump start summer programs for the students. “So…it’s summer school?” I asked. “No…well yes…but not like summer school when we were young.” Annie replied, “It’s educational fun stuff, Lydie’s involved in a stage production of the Lion King, she’s also taking a Learning with Legos course.” I certainly wasn’t about to criticize it, it’s summer vacation, any opportunity to get my obnoxiously bored little girl out of the house for a couple…

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My little girl plays head games. Lyd’s teacher last year was Mrs. Rashid and Lyd’s Principal was Mrs. Endres-Lovell. This distinction matters here, so again, Teacher = Rashid, Principal = Endres-Lovell. Are we clear? Principal Endres-Lovell is often outside expediting the drop-off line. She’s opening van doors, helping the little ones out before wishing us all a good morning, It’s a pretty handy service she offers. One morning we’re waiting in the line, Reggie craned her head up and said,…

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Once upon a time, before I was a car owner, I’d peruse all the automobile magazines fantasizing about the cars I would drive. It changed from time to time. I had a Corvette phase, a Camaro phase, ooh! How about a Mustang? Maybe I could go to one of those auctions and get a GTO. Yeah, go classic. I could like totally restore it! Then I began thinking more “practically” Maybe a Suburban or Jeep Wrangler (they are so versatile,…

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“Lyd! Wanna learn a new game?” “Sure!” “It’s called Uno. I played this game with Grandma when I was your age. The goal is to be the first to get down to one, or, Uno, card. Whoever does this first yells ‘Uno!’ and that player wins.” A few minutes later, my smile was a little strained. Lydia asked, “What does ‘+4’ mean?” (seriously?) “Well If you lay that one down, I have to draw four cards…and…you just put down a…

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We have a new record! 55 seconds! We. Are. So. Cool!