“What time do you plan on heading off to your class reunion?”

“Ugh. I don’t know. Not sure I want to go anymore. I think I’ll just stay in.”

“Why?”

I shifted from one foot to the other and shrugged. “I don’t know. I…just, I don’t recall making that big of an impression back then. Like I’m not worthy of attending, I wasn’t exactly a key fixture with my class. What if everyone is insane successful while I’m there, just being a stagehand trying to survive? That, and my hearing. You can’t go with me, you won’t be there to help me figure out what people are saying to me. Which means I’ll sound like an idiot for most of the night. And finally….great!” I swept my arms, gesturing to an invisible audience, “You’ve all had your chance to see how old I’ve become and I have been given the chance to see how old you all have become. Don’t we all feel better for this?” I sighed in exasperation, “I mean…jeez! What is the point of a class reunion anyway?”

I was genuinely nervous, as indicated by that nervous outburst. Left to my own devices, I doubt I would have gone. But I was a little curious as to how everyone was doing. I wanted Annie. I wanted her to either go with me (impossible. No chance of landing a sitter with such short notice), or to talk me into it.

She took a deep breath and began to frame her words, she knows me, and she knew I wanted to be talked into it. “You’ve bumped into a number of your classmates all over town! It’s not like you’re walking into a room full of strangers. If worse comes to worse, stick with Kat. She knows you struggle with hearing. She’ll help you if you need it.” A few more minutes of that talk and I decided to go.

As I drove to the reunion, memories of high school began flashing through my mind. I was certainly thinner and shorter but I wasn’t the scrawniest, and I wasn’t the shortest. I was shy, awkward, and intimidated. I didn’t have much confidence. I had a few friends, not as many as other classmates. I was a slight misfit. A “slight” misfit–that describes it perfectly, I felt like I was just slightly off on everything, just a couple clicks off of what I would have considered “normal.” There were just enough kids who rarely, if ever spoke to me, that I wouldn’t have put myself into the “popular” category. Yet I wouldn’t say I was unpopular either.

I wouldn’t call my high school experience terrible, the only real problem is that high school happens during the teenage years. And now that I think back to that period in life, it was terrible being a teenager!

I thought hard about that skinnier, shorter version of me with less wrinkles and more pimples. I felt bad for him. I wish current me could have a good sit down talk with that kid.

“It’s going to get harder before it gets easier. You are going to go through a few things, some of those things are going to be painful. Do not give up. Stop stressing out over everything. Especially Love. Don’t worry, you will find Love, and she…she will be the greatest thing to ever happen to you. And yes…she’s hot.

I know it’s confusing, I know you’re trying to find your place in this world. Guess what? You’ll never find it, at least not the way you’re thinking of it. You will however, become comfortable with not finding it. Which means you actually will find your place in this world.

You’re going to do all right, but it’s going to have some pretty bumpy moments.

And finally, that girl over there? You know the one I’m talking about. You can’t take your eyes off of her. She’s not out of your league. Ask her out.”

My drive was over, I had arrived. I put the truck into park and took a deep breath. Young me never got that talk from old me, and it would have been so handy! Instead, young me became old me the hard way, and yes, likely the best way. I released that deep breath. Time to face my past.

I stepped through the door, “Brooks is here! Bartender, please grab a beer for this man!” He turned to me, “How’ve ya been?” The night only improved from there.

It’s been twenty five years since we graduated. It’s occurred to me, that we were all scared and anxious. We all wish the older version could have had that sit-down talk with the younger version. We’ve all broken hearts, we’ve all had our hearts broken. Nearly all of us have kids, which means nearly all of us have been puked on, wiped someone else’s poop-encrusted butt and have nursed tiny ones through illness. We’ve all had reality checks from our spouses. We’ve all overcome challenges, we’ve all had at least one emotional breakdown. We all have one or all of the following: creaky knees, sore shoulders, or reading glasses. None of us have any room for the drama that felt so important back then. Life eroded away all those pretenses, now it’s all of us just being us.

Yeah, I should have asked her out. What’s the worst thing that could have happened? She could have said…no? I would have survived that.

We grew up together, we formed together. These people knew a version of me that my wife and kids will never know. It’s community, our community, these are my people.

When you’re in the thick of life, it’s easy to assume you’re growing old, it’s not so easy to consider how you have grown.

So, in regards to the question I shouted earlier, “What is the point of a class reunion anyway?” I figured it out. It gives you a chance to look back on your life, on where you came from, literally from where you came from. And it gives you a chance to realize that you might have been doing a little more than simply growing old.