“Hmm. What’s this? The Finding Dory Memory Match Game. Say! We got that for the girls for Christmas. I have not yet played it with them.” I looked over at Reggie, she seemed pretty bored, and she’s always trying to insert herself into games. “Why Not?” I thought to myself.
“Wanna play the Finding Dory Memory Game?”
“Yeah!”
“All Right!” I dumped out the box. Seventy-Two pieces? Yeesh. “Well here we go!”
Regina Loves helping, but even by toddler standards, there’s something a little upsetting about her logic. Let’s say Reg and I are watching a marathon, cheering the runners on and doing what marathon spectators do (I’ve never been to one, is there shouting?). Regina would look at these runners, she would see the strain and fatigue on their faces and she would conclude that they are tired and they need a nap. She would then decide to help one of these runners take a nap, she would accomplish this by tripping the runner, thus forcing the now potentially unconscious runner to take the nap that she has decided is needed. Her intentions are decent, her methods are that of an A-Hole.
And that is the Regina who showed up to help me lay out the cards face-down. She was ignoring the rows I was trying to create, she was laying them down face-up, she was insisting on keeping a couple cards for herself
I finally had the cards all laid out. That was when she decided the cards were not shuffled enough, so she stepped in to fix the issue—She was smiling. I looked tired as I removed a card that landed in my chest pocket.
I finally had them all laid out…again. I made a whistling sound. Seventy-Two Cards! This is a lot of cards. I think I can see a horizon with these cards. How are we going to get through this? Lunch is coming up and Reg has a short attention span.
Oh well. “Reggie? You’re the youngest! Go for it. Two cards.”
“I have a match!”
“Actually sweetie, that’s not a match. That one there is Dory, the other is Bailey. No, you can’t start looking for the match, we have to take turns. It’s now my turn. You need to put the cards back. Actually, you need to put them back in the spots you found them, it’s what makes it a game. You are trying to change this from being a memory game to a Hunger Game.”
“Hungry Game? Can I have a snack?”
“Not that kind of…never mind.”
“Snack?”
“No, not now. You’ll be having lunch soon!”
“But I want one!” She wailed.
“You’ll be eating soon!” I wailed back. (very very soon) “May I have my turn?” I flipped two cards over.
“No match! HA HA”
“Ouch, thanks for gloating.”
“You welcome.”
“Your turn!”
“I have a match!”
“Not this time!”
“But it’s Bailey!”
“Yes, that one is Bailey. But this other one is a different picture of Bailey.”
“But they both Bailey!”
“I know! But this is a different picture.” There’s no way to get around this one, she’s made the decision.
“I will keep them. They match.”
“No. They actually do not match.”
“Yes. Yes they actually do match. See? Bailey and…Bailey.”
(I only have to have this argument seventy more times!) “Not the Hill to die on today. My turn.”
“Daddy, you not gonna die.”
“Thank you for that Hun. But it was a figure of…never mind.” I flipped two cards over.
“HA HA No match.”
My eyes narrowed, “But Dory is in both pictures.”
“No. This one is Dory. This one has Hank and Dory.”
“Unbelievable. Hey! Guess what? It’s lunch time!”