“Okay! I have my tools packed, my laptop, coffee, water. I have my reading glasses, wristwatch and favorite pen. I’m ready to go to work. Something’s missing…food. I’ll be a raging monster if I don’t eat something at work.”
The word they use these days is for what would happen to me if I don’t eat would be “hangry”. I think it’s a delightful word, sums things up perfectly…but I’m not yet ready to use it in written form. It’s still a “ghost” in my world. More on that later.
Back to the task, I need to throw some food into my work box. My go-to items are dry-roasted peanuts and snack-sized cheese medallions; and, we are out of both. How about a fruit cup? Nope. Granola bars? The box is empty…an empty box of granola bars in our cupboard? That’s just cruel.
I don’t feel like throwing together a sandwich, I just want to throw something in the workbox and go.
“Annie! I need to pack something to eat! We’re out of the usual suspects. Any ideas?”
“Yes! This!”
“What is this?”
“It’s a snack kit. One half are pretzels, the other half is hummus.”
“I’ve heard of hummus. I’ve never had it. What is it?”
“You dip the pretzels in it. It’s good. It’s high in protein.” I stared at it with skepticism. Annie went on, “It’s not a ghost. If I find this in your workbox uneaten, we’re going to have words. Eat it. It’s healthy.”

“It’s not a ghost” is an attitude I’ve always had. After watching a movie about Vikings and their culture, I had a word for this attitude. You see, apparently Vikings were incredibly superstitious. When an unfamiliar Viking arrived at an established settlement, that visitor had to stand at the bow of his boat for a certain extended amount of time. After this time elapsed, he was allowed to enter the settlement. Vikings were wary of ghosts, especially ghosts in disguise. By standing at the bow of the boat for a few hours, the visitor proved to the other Vikings that he is not a ghost.
Hence, my wariness with everything and anything that is new and unfamiliar. I am wary of literally anything that Annie introduces to our household. I refuse to acknowledge its presence, I go about my business as if it doesn’t exist. Eventually I warm up to it and begin using it. “Ghosts” can be any number of things, from new coffeemakers to hairbrushes, and often times, food.
My narrowed eyes and suspicious expression tipped off Annie that hummus might be a “ghost”. Most of the time she tolerates this attitude of mine. That day, not so much. “Eat it! It’s healthy! You’ll be in trouble if you don’t.”
“Dang it! Fine!” I tossed it in my workbox and took off for work.
That night I was the House Guy for a community orchestra’s rehearsal, basically I was a babysitter. All I had to do was make sure everything went smoothly and take care of their needs, and their needs are usually pretty minimal. I like these nights. It’s nice having a break from lifting, hauling and setting things up. It’s a chance to be productive! I can get some editing done, maybe even do some writing! Or…I can get trapped in an endless stream of stupid YouTube videos of stupid people doing stupid things.
Yeah, not so productive.
“Hungry.” I thought. I frowned as I looked over at the hummus and pretzel kit. I wasn’t in the mood for “new”. I could easily slip away and grab some Chex Mix from the vending machine. No. Annie is going to ask me about this. I could just tell her I didn’t like it. She would ask me why I didn’t like it. I would make something up then she’d be on to me. Or I can tell her I like it. Then she’ll get more. Someday I’d break down and eat it, and if I don’t like it, then I’ll have to ask her to stop buying it, then the questions would come back and I’d get busted.
I guess I better try this stuff.
I did not like the color. I gave the first pretzel a tentative dip and popped it in my mouth. It was kind of gritty, not bad gritty, just something I’m not accustomed to. I detected no dairy, when one lives on a Wisconsin based diet, non-dairy is a bit of a novelty.
It’s fashionable these days. It’s considered an ethnic food. I believe it’s Middle Eastern. I hear folks talk about it all the time. I just never had a chance nor reason to have ever encountered it.
I liked it! By the time I was on my final pretzels, I was scooping up huge gobs of it. Assuming this isn’t a one-time thing, assuming I like it the next time I try it, this stuff could earn a place in my lunch box. Plus, I get to sound a little more fashionable “It’s hummus. Yes I know! It’s high in protein you know. Have a great lunch, I’ll stay back and enjoy my hummus.”
It was then that I decided I should probably know more about it. I stopped the video of the teenager lighting his own pants on fire and googled this new found snack. However, the name was on the peel-off lid. It was crumpled up and tossed out a long time ago. I winged it:
Humus: The organic component of soil, formed by the decomposition of leaves and other plant material by microorganisms.
Huh?
I clicked another search result: Earthworm humus is considered by some to be the best organic manure there is.
Manure? Is Annie feeding me worm poop? The heck?
I hit the back button and stared at the results, at the top of the page, Google was asking me, “Did you mean Hummus?”
“Double M?” I clicked it.
Hummus is a Levantine dip or spread made from cooked, mashed chickpeas or other beans blended with Tahini, olive oil, lemon juice, salt and garlic.
Double M, I’ll remember that next time! Garlic? No wonder I liked it!
In the end, Annie did not get a “What the hell?” text and my palette has gained new territory.
Win-win
And remember! Hummus (Double M) is not worm poop…or a ghost.