Overtime Parenting, What IS a job anyway?

Overtime Parenting, What IS a job anyway?

I recently read an article stating that Moms work the equivalent of 98 hours a week.
Here’s a link to the article:

http://www.valleynewslive.com/content/news/Overtime-Parenting-and-Burn-Out-477468943.html

I have so many questions.
First, this isn’t a question as much as a statement, the article is written poorly.
Back to questions.
Why is this only citing Moms? Where are the Dads? There are enough Stay-At-Home Dads and Single Dads out there that they can no longer be discounted statistically. At the end of the article, the author made a mention of husbands/Dads. In the video, the Anchor finishes by mentioning “All parents.”
It’s practically an afterthought.
Gee. Thanks for that.
Next question(s) all concern this survey. Where is this survey? Who conducted the survey? Where is the compiled data from the survey? Did they only interview two income households? Single income households? How about single parents? Actually, was there even a survey conducted?
How did the survey reach the conclusion that Moms work the equivalent of two and a half jobs?
The article cites a forty hour a week job. Then states that this “new survey” finds that “Moms put in over two-and-a-half times that—about 98 hours a week.” (This is not a truly accurate quote from the article. I took the liberty of adding a period at the end of that sentence.)

Now I would like to pick apart the conclusion. I’ll start by asking, “What is a job?” My job outside of stay-at-home parenting is being a stagehand. Gigs can be intense. It’s been joked around that we cram eight hours of hard labor into three. My work happens sporadically, at any and all hours. I have no internal clock.
It wears me down. I’ve come Home pretty broken after some gigs.
There are many different types of jobs, perhaps I should hit this question in more precise ways. What happens during those forty hours?
If fatigue is a factor, then what is fatigue? Let’s hear what a nurse might have to say about fatigue before you state your thoughts.
If stress is a cited factor, then let’s talk about stress, but first let’s have a chat with an air traffic controller or police officer or a soldier about their standards when it comes to stress.
There are many professionals who laugh at forty hours. They’d kill to only work forty hours.

I scrolled through the social media comments. There were many yelling “amen!” over and over. There were a few provocative trolls making “then why’d they have kids?” comments (come on. Really? Is that moving the discussion forward?). There were a few other comments about other specifics. There was one unhappy individual who appears to have an incredibly lazy spouse, or has decided to just take it all on alone.

No one was questioning the article beyond a “This is BS” comment from another troll. How is this BS Mr. Troll? Seriously! Elaborate! If you can’t say anything beyond “this is BS” then your comment is a waste of internet.

These kinds of articles frustrate me. No sources are cited, we’re denied the actual numbers, there’s no hard data. Yet none of the comments involved any deep questioning, there was no challenge to the article. A “new survey” has an air of authority to it. We’re all just supposed to nod our heads and accept it as facts; and I saw a lot of head-nodding.
I found no quantifiable facts here.
In fact quite the opposite. I have concluded that this is an opinion piece. I detected opinion the second I noticed the article wasn’t about parents, when it failed to mention Dads, when it alluded to Moms being the only caregiver in any given household. I detected opinion when nothing beyond the word “survey” was mentioned about the cited survey. Until I see actual data, then this can only be considered opinions—opinions of what a job is, opinions on the difficulties of parenting, opinions on the division of labor with parenting.
I am in no way discounting the difficulties of parenting, I couldn’t do so while maintaining honesty. I’m a stay-at-home parent, I’m living in the trenches!
It is a tough job, raising a human is quite an undertaking. But I tend to think the job these days pose different challenges than it once did. The comments from trolls and shamers confirmed those thoughts. I think modern parenting could be considered more tiring than it once was, I think it’s mostly due to unrealistic expectations.
Once upon a time, I don’t think the “job” of parenting entailed as many hours. Once upon a time, a parent would kick their kids out of the house after breakfast and chores, they weren’t expected back until lunch, and after that, supper.
I think Social Media has turned parenting into a frenetic full-time job these days. The internet is as harmful as it is helpful. Any malady can be diagnosed, or misdiagnosed and stirred up into the worst possible situation. Last week’s killer food is safe this week, last week’s safe food will give you cancer this week. The sun is dangerous, snow is dangerous, wall-to-wall carpeting is dangerous, toilets will kill you, and hot sand is dangerous. If your kid earned a goose egg from the park swing, it’s your fault for not being there to prevent the injury. Next week your efforts to prevent an injury will get you accused of being a helicopter parent. You left your kid alone in the van ten feet from you while you were selecting a movie from the Red Box??? A few years ago CPP was contacted by a Mom’s neighbors because her children were playing in her fenced-in backyard unsupervised. For the Love of God, do not allow the internet to discover that your child was riding a bike without a helmet!
The internet is a mob and the degree of hysterical shaming can bring about deadly levels of depression.
More than merely school is required these days. Dance Classes, a sport, chess club, a different sport. Cheerleading? Homework homework homework!
There’s a terrible amount of pressure to be the greatest parent ever, and the internet is watching and waiting for parents to make mistakes.
Opinions have been around since the first human looked at the second human. The tragedy of the internet is that practically all of those opinions get stated, or rather, shouted.

My final question is, “What is the purpose of this article?” Was it stating a problem? If so, it’s not an unknown problem. All of us parents are aware of the stress, strain and fatigue of raising kids. If the article is stating a problem, the solution is vague and week. “Find balance in your life.”
Find Balance! What a great idea! I should have tried that years ago!

After writing all this, I can’t help but ask myself “What’s the point of this piece I have written?”
I’m certainly ranting and venting here. Is there something else I’m trying to say?
I am not disagreeing with the article. Parenting certainly does feel like a full-time job these days. I am disagreeing with how the article went about stating this opinion.
I guess I’m citing a couple of different problems here. Just because an opinion is stated as a fact doesn’t make it a fact.
This also does not mean opinions have less merit than facts.
The second problem, Internet shamers have turned opinions into weapons.
The solution: Everyone raises their kids differently. Respect it. Shut up. Move on.
And finally, articles like this are common. Question everything!

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